February is the month of love. Everyone goes out of their way to make sure the special one in their life knows how much they mean to them. Flowers and cards and candy flow from lovers as they celebrate their love. The restaurants are packed, many with romance packages and higher prices. Although nice, I’m not really sure they can give me what I should have been getting all year long and for some, that’s it! That one day of attention that is supposed to remind you all year long that you are loved and not taken for granted. Hmmm.
This year was very interesting as a winter storm caught those procrastinators off guard and left them scrambling to get out of the house after inches of snow and ice trapped them in together. I think it opened up the conversation to many couples as they realized how much or how little the holiday really meant compared to their all year long treatment of one another. For some, surprisingly or maybe not to you, it isn’t about the love they share all year long but instead the office talk about who receives the most or nicest on that day. For others it was the random store flowers brought up just because or the surprise dinner reservations because you deserve a night out. Love is daily! Love is created and not bought.
My earliest memories of Valentine’s Day are very special memories. One, because I realized that my birthday and this holiday were one which meant a birthday party every single year in school. Second, because I was shy and didn’t have many friends so those little cards we exchanged were special to me. I also blushed writing out a couple every year to those that I had chosen the card for specifically. That was my favorite day of the whole school year! It was MY day!
So what about our children? We do teach them to spoil the one they love on that special day for Valentine’s. We teach them about showing someone you care. Those things are not horrible things to teach, but being the example of a great spouse daily is much better for them to have in their core. For them to see you being a caring and loving person in relationship every day makes an impact on how they behave and who they choose as their mates. As much as our teens say they don’t want to be anything like us, they are and they choose mates like their units at home. Just like us, they will one day wake up and hear their mother or father spewing from their lips. We teach by being. We love by showing. We are us by choice.
I have decided that this year I am going to be a secret Valentine. Feel free to join me regardless of your birthdate. I’m going to pick a random day or two each month and cherish my partner in some way. A card here or flowers there. A special dinner or candy or trinket. I’m not going to wait for a holiday to come to remind me, I’m choosing to do it regularly so that my partner knows that they are the most precious gift in my life. Let’s face it, from all that they put up with from us, they deserve their own holiday, don’t you think?
So hurry out and get a discounted pack of the Valentines you passed out in school. Hide them here and there throughout the year for your special Valentine. (Buy fresh candy though, those little heart candies are not meant to last a year.) Set up some reminders in your calendar to remind you that it has been X amount of days since you have made your Valentine feel special. Even a text message sent on a busy Monday just saying “I love you and you are my world” can change the day. Love more, that’s what life is really about anyway.